Forget Balance: 6 Simple Ways to Manage Your Life in 2023

   In late November 2020, I gave birth to my fourth child. We have ALL received plenty of surprises in 2020 and having four kids under the age of six was one of mine. Leading up to the delivery, I told myself I would find a way to balance all my roles and new responsibilities. You know, to make my busy life as easy as possible. I am a wife, mom, full-time nurse, budding entrepreneur, daughter, sister, family member, friend and so much more. It only took my first night home from the hospital to realize achieving balance would be impossible. Here is why.

           According to Oxford, balance is “an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.” Furthermore, it is “a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions”. If you were to apply these definitions to your life, that would mean all your obligations would require an equal amount of time. So, the eight hours at your job five days a week should be equal to the time you spend with your partner or spouse, and your self-care time, and your time with your friends, and your time building your new business, and so on. Are there enough hours in the day or week for all this? Absolutely not. It is not humanly possible. So here we are chasing a concept that does not exist, just like a hamster on a wheel. I implore you to grab my hand and get off the wheel today!

Most of us wear many hats. We are busy people, and our to-do lists can be overwhelming. When we hear the term balance, or we see someone who appears to have achieved it, we strive to get a piece of it in our lives as well. If you are like me, this chase has led to sleep deprivation, stress, anxiety and feeling like a failure when you are unable to successfully satisfy all your duties. Now you are unhappy and wondering how Mr. and Ms. Perfect are balancing it all with smiles on their faces. I’ll let you in on a secret: they are not balancing anything. Nothing at all. Instead, they are effectively juggling everything in their lives, and I am going to show you how to do the same.

To become a professional juggler, we must learn how to move the items, or in our case, responsibilities, around in a rhythmic way.

Every ball or bowling pin goes up in the air and every item gets touched. Sometimes the juggler is handling two items at once, and other times five or more. The amount we can juggle is dependent upon the size of the items and how skilled we are at managing them. Some days, you may only be able to handle two or three of your tasks. On others, you may be able to rotate between six of your responsibilities. It all depends on how much weight those duties carry in your life. The lighter they are, the less time they require. The heavier or more important they are, the more attention they will need from you. However, we never want to juggle more than we can handle. This can lead to injury, broken items and potential disaster. We must use wisdom and become familiar with the “weight” of our tasks.

I challenge you to write down all your roles and obligations. Now rank them from most important to least. You may find this to be challenging, especially if you are used to trying to view everything equally. Don’t stress. Make sure it’s specific to your current lifestyle and not how you think you should rank them based on societal standards. Be true to you. I could ask 10 people with the same responsibilities (i.e., spouse, parent, full-time employee, caregiver to elderly parent, volunteer soccer coach and entrepreneur) to make this list and receive 10 different rankings. For some financial security is more important, so they may document their job and business at the top. For others, family time is vital and requires the most attention. It definitely varies from person to person.

Once you have your ranking, you can clearly see the weights of what you need to juggle. This will be key in determining how much or how little you can juggle at one time. Now that we have that information, let’s talk about the six skills that are needed to become one of the world’s best jugglers and make the most of this thing called life.

1. Prioritization

We know everything and everyone cannot receive all our attention at once. It is impractical and will drive you crazy if you attempt to do so. That means we need to make a decision each day and prioritize our tasks. If we compare it to juggling, focus on the ball in the air. Keep your eyes on it until it lands in your hand and the next priority goes up in the air. If you are juggling three things today, all three will get addressed in order of importance. Everything will be handled, and you can go to sleep in peace. If life throws another task into the rotation unexpectantly (child gets sick and needs to be picked up early from school), stop juggling, evaluate your responsibilities for that day, and adjust, as necessary. If you must remove an item because you haven’t mastered managing four tasks, so be it. Flexibility is necessary to successfully prioritize. 

2. Get Organized

If you have a long list of obligations, there is no way to manage them all without organization. Whether you use a pen and pad, a planner, the note section in your phone or an app, you need to ensure you are keeping accurate track of your life’s required activities. Appointments, meetings, scheduled plans, deadlines. All these need to be arranged in at least one common place. I personally use a traditional planner to write down not only my own tasks, but those of my kids. This helps me see each day, week and month ahead of time and what my schedule can allow. Sometimes stress comes from overbooking and saying “yes” to someone or something when your schedule is screaming “no”. But that is another blog post for another day.

Another part of being organized is having a clutter-free living and workspace. This allows clearer thinking and increased productivity, two must-haves for successful juggling. Make it one of your priorities to get your home and office together. Get rid of anything that serves no purpose. Freshen up the space with a good cleaning session and your favorite scents. I guarantee you will feel different and begin to maneuver through life with a new swagger.

3. Add Convenience

We only have 24 hours in a day to get things done. Why wouldn’t you want to add more time by allowing a person or business to handle a task for you so you can focus on something else? We are living in the times where there is literally an app for everything. Need someone to wash your car while you catch up on emails? There are mobile car washes everywhere. Need someone to clean your home while you prepare for a visit from your in-laws? There are plenty of professionals who can take care of it. Need someone to grocery shop for you while you meet with a client? There’s an app for that. My point is to free up some time whenever your schedule and finances allow it. Take advantage of the businesses created to make your life easier.

4. Use Your Time Wisely

Time management is not a term to simply be used in the workplace. It would benefit you greatly to manage every moment you have outside of your job. Once you clock out for the day, turn the mental switch off and focus on your next role and responsibility. Don’t spend the next two hours replaying the bad day you may have had at work. That is a complete waste of time and will completely throw off the rest of your day. Instead, plan to squeeze in a self-care activity like working out or catching up with a good friend. Also, try allocating your time towards something that you will be able to check off your to-do list. Plan ahead with the prioritizing discussed above and make sure to stay within the time limits you set for each activity. The best jugglers must time each catch and throw appropriately to keep the rotation going strong.

Using your time wisely includes completing tasks during the hours when you are most productive. Don’t plan to reorganize your home office when you usually go to bed. More than likely, you will be sluggish, non-productive and crabby the next morning since you cut your sleeping hours short. Also, make the best use of your off days. Target activities that have nothing to do with your job or business. Be sure to include create a good variety of tasks that will bring both productivity and relaxation. You will feel more refreshed, accomplished and energized for the next day of work.

5. Take Care of Yourself

The topic of self-care has been plastered everywhere lately because top experts are realizing how important it is to keep your proverbial cup full. Remember, if you are not full, you cannot pour into others. Those who are depending on your well-being will receive the bare minimum, at best, if you do not include “me-time” in your life.  You cannot assist, plan, grow or succeed if you are drained. Whatever self-care looks like to you (napping, spa day, gym time, bingeing TV shows, brunching with friends, praying, fishing, reading, journaling, therapy, or all the above), please include it as a regular part of your life. I’m sure I don’t have to list the benefits but putting time aside to treat yourself is absolutely necessary to juggle your busy life. I suggest daily time if possible, even if it’s only thirty minutes. However, I understand it may be difficult to do depending on your lifestyle. Either way, self-care is a MUST if you want to successfully transform your life from hectic to under control. Remember, you are not being selfish. You are actually being selfless because a better you for you equals a better you for everyone.  

6. Be Realistic

Finally, be honest with yourself. Even though we like to think of ourselves as superheroes who can do it all, we have to give ourselves realistic expectations and deadlines. Also, commit only to things you are absolutely sure you can handle. The sense of feeling like a failure comes from setting goals even Superman or Wonder Woman couldn’t accomplish. You cannot get your life together overnight. There may be habits that must be changed, including your outlook on life. We are human. Things go wrong. Plans change. However, you must give yourself some grace. You are doing the best you can.

Now that you have the steps, I ask you to join me on this journey as we debunk the myth of balance and become the best jugglers. This blog will explore the topics above in much more detail and get our lives ALL THE WAY together. The idea of the perfect life is not only unreasonable, but also the thief of true happiness. Once you accept this truth, things will become much easier as you jump off the balance beam and begin to juggle.